Partick Thistle 0-1 Airdrie United: Are you Clydebank in disguise?

So instead, let's look at the negatives. I know I'm not one to talk about anyone being overweight, but stone me did Fatty Hinchcliffe look unfit. Tuffey's kicking may occasionally be suspect but at least he doesn't go down for balls on installments. Given he managed to get down for a penalty save at the tail end of the game too, it makes slo-mo dive look even more ridiculous.

Then we've got our resident porn idol, Chris Turner. Now, you'd think red and yellow hooped shirts wouldn't be hard to spot if you're passing to someone. Really, it's a fairly distinctive colour scheme. Yet for some reason, especially in the first half, Turner couldn't hit a pass to one of his teammates to save his life. Such was the range of his passing you'd have thought he was actually playing for McFranchise United.

As for Marko... dear oh dear. What's happened, Mark? All I can hope is that he was having an off day, because he was shocking. The offside that never was, the miss that shouldn't have been.. Part of me hopes we hear of some bust-up or something happened in his life to explain why he looked so out of sorts. Otherwise he picks up the Iwelumo award for honking performance of the day.

We just didn't look like we wanted this. About the only people to emerge with any credit are Liam Buchanananananan, who turned in a shift on his return from injury that was at least energetic (look Marko, that's how you run...) and the stadium announcer for some masterful filling of time while waiting for the boys to run out.

I'm nicking his Toulouse gag for a later occasion.

No, this was painful stuff. Another cup chance wasted, and in embarrassing fashion, especially after the highs of that performance against the Empire a couple of weeks ago. Something needs to be done to gee up the Jags players, and soon. We can't continue in this vein.