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Francesco Sandaza (Signed, 11th July, 2008)

a.k.a

"Sand-dancer"

sand - danc·er
-noun
1. a person who is akin to the arabs
2. a person who dances professionally, as on the sand.

In the town of Dundee, in a towering football stadia named Tannadice....

After hours of searching through page after page on the Amazon sports DVD section, Levein finally plumped for 'Sand Dancer' an epic 360 minute film that told a convincing tale.

The tale of a young Spanish striker named Francesco Sandaza, engulfed in a season long war against the defenders of Spanish B teams; determined by nature to make the big time and finally get the chance to dance on the sands of Tannadice.

Finally, 23 goals the better; he set's off for a meal with Levein.

Fly-on-the-wall-conversation-revealed

"Pess us a pe big yin," Sandaza
"Gonnae jst join?," Levein
"Pe's no bad. Emm... Aye" Sandaza

And so it was done. The worlds best striker was able to dance. Professionally. As on the sand.

"I'm just delighted to get him and I'm sure he'll be a handful for all SPL defences ," said United manager Craig Levein.