January 2009 Archives

After a 4-0 thrashing at home, there's no better way to cheer yourself up than reliving the funniest football phone-in ever.

I have to thank Gilberto the Crazy Arab, who put the link on The Arabian messageboard to the amazing call from Gordon the United fan and the tale of how his dad made him a bow-tie to wear to the game.

I listened to it four times at work yesterday and it got funnier every time. By the end, I had tears streaming down my face and had forgotten all about the Motherwell result.

If you've never heard it before, prepare for a piece of magic. If you have, it just gets better every time.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hhk8VVS2AU&feature=channel_page

As Lance-Corporal Jones used to say in Dad's Army, "Don't Panic!"

One shockingly heavy home defeat by Motherwell certainly made for a depressing afternoon and a right good slagging at the office today. But it doesn't constitute a crisis.

Look at the facts. One defeat in 19 games before Sunday. Through to the semi-final of the CIS Cup. Unbeaten in four games against the Old Firm. Playing the best football we've seen in a decade. Attendances at Tannadice rising and the feelgood factor spreading.

That's why I couldn't believe the people who booed United off the pitch at half-time and some of the ridiculous abuse certain players were getting from the loudmouths. OK, so we were 3-0 down and some of our defending was a joke. But put it in context.

The game was a bit surreal. For 20-odd minutes we looked very comfortable and Warren Fenney had a couple of great chances to put us ahead. If we'd scored, I'm sure we would have gone on to record another routine win.

But we didn't and instead we self-destructed and Motherwell found their shooting boots. Lukasz Zaluska kept passing the ball out to defenders who didn't have time or space to deal with it. Sean Dillon kept passing to the opposition. Scott Robertson and Willo Flood kept getting caught in possession. Garry Kenneth and Lee Wilkie were all over the shop and Craig Conway seemed to be attached to a piece of rope that prevented him from going down the wing.

That's the point. After Motherwell's goal, virtually our whole team were absolutely awful. I'd give Morgaro Gomis pass marks, but even the subs failed to turn it on. Danny Swanson got caught for the fourth goal and Francisco Sandaza, running in on goal, managed to sclaff the ball with his standing foot out for a goal kick.

It was just a very, very bad day at the office. We musn't forget the amazing progress we have made under Craig Levein. And sometimes we have to repay what he and the players have done by backing them when it's not going well.

I'll be cheering extra-loud when the boys run out on to the pitch against St Mirren on Saturday. We need a
win to get us back in the groove before the semi against Celtic and then a trip to Ibrox.

With Aberdeen on a fantastic run and Hearts still looking consistent, it's going to be a real battle for third.

Keep the faith.

It's just too exciting for words being an Arab right now. In fact, the only one letting the side down at the moment is me.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned - it's been two months since my last blog entry. I'd like to use the excuse that I've been too busy with work, but as my job is supposed to be about digital publishing, it's a pretty lame one.

Since my last entry, the following things have happened - we've gone another eight games unbeaten, had two thrilling 2-2 draws with the Old Firm, signed Lee Wilkie, Sean Dillon, Darren Dods and David Robertson to long-term deals and got a promise from Craig Levein that he's intending to stick around for some time.

Not too shabby at all.

Sunday's Scottish Cup tie at Ochilview was a bit of light relief in the midst of all the SPL action. For fans of a certain vintage like me, it was brilliant to be standing again at a game. Most of my best United memories seem to involve being a teeanger and getting lifted off my feet in the Shed and being carried towards the goal by the surge after another great European goal. Scary - but great fun at the time.

The East Stirling game was like a throwback - all the fans packed in under the terracing roof, tiny toilets and a Tannoy announcer who just wouldn't shut up.

But there were two moments that made me laugh. One was the sight of Lukasz Zaluska - a week after playing in front of 60,000 - hurdling obstacles to get a ball that had gone into the adjoining practice pitch while the rest of the players twiddled their thumbs waiting for him to return. Come on East Stirling - surely a bag of sweeties and fizzy pop for one ball boy wouldn't break the bank!

The other great moments came when a particularly flame-haired police officer patrolling behind the goal came in for dog's abuse from the United fans. Chants of "ginger hair is unacceptable" and "your hair, your hair, your hair is on fire" had his colleagues in blue cracking up.

Anyway, back to the bread and butter this week with the visit of Motherwell. Warren Feeney, who's been very impressive in recent weeks, should be back in the team, leaving the fit-again Francisco Sandaza tearing up and down the touchline in his tracksuit again trying to catch Craig's eye.

As predicted in this very blog, Warren's on-loan colleague Roy O'Donovan didn't stick around at Tannadice after Christmas. His admission that he "didn't do his homework on Dundee United or the SPL" told you eveything you needed to know about a big-time Charlie who felt he would walk into the diddy Scottish team. Good luck at Blackpool now, Roy.

Finally, congratulations to the board and everyone at Tannadice for returning the club's first profit since 1997. Eddie's legacy lives on.