Whit’s the deal way the Pole dancers?

Celtic of course have previous with Polish players. Dariusz Jackie Dziekanowski (I had to look that up. Geez a brek, you’d be a right saddo if you could spell that right. Cracking scrabble score tho) was the one who set the template. I’ve never been to Poland but it must be like a Siberian work camp, because when these guys come over here they’re like weans in Disneyland. Jackie’s finest hour for Celtic was when he scored 4 against Partizan Belgrade. Later that night he scored five times in Victorias. After the game Jackie was asked about how much he enjoyed his goals, “I very much like your Glasgow wimmen. If you hammer the Cola Kubes and the Sours into them, you will have sexy time”. “No, Jackie. How much do you like your goal?” After 3 years of swallying and podgering Jackie was shipped out to Bristol City, where he did hee-haw and then never really settled anywhere. I saw that he resurfaced as Leo Beenhakker’s assistant for the Polish national team recently.

Maciej Zurawski was another Polish import who arrived with a great goal scoring record and really looked the part in flashes. Magic didn’t have Dziekanowski’s good looks and he had the haircut of a 4 year old. Quick visit to Taylor Ferguson, a binning of the pesky Polish missus and Zurawski was free to do a bit of damage. But maybe if Maciej kept it in his trousers he would not have been shipped out to the Greek version of Blantyre Vics. When asked how he was enjoying life in Greece he was quoted as saying “I like very much the hole and the swally but the Greek wimmen are not so willing as the Glasgow burds and some have moostash like the Polish girls back home”.

Boruc has been the best goalkeeper at Celtic since Bonner and the 2 seasons previous he has been world class. It was mooted that some big hitters were going to weigh in with upwards of 12 million quid. The way this season is going we should have snapped their hand off. I’m a big Boruc fan and I know he’s a total wind-up merchant but I quite like that. I enjoy seeing him annoying opposition fans especially they-who-shall-not-be-named (how jammy were they against Accies? 7 break-aways seemingly.) Thing is, the Celtic support let you away with these things when you’re performing but Boruc is living on past achievements and on current form should be dropped in favour of Mark Brown. Brown isn’t a world-class keeper by any stretch but he is dependable and I suggest that if he was between the sticks on Sunday we wouldn’t have lost. We didn’t play particulary well but had 70% possession. The only time Hibs looked like scoring was another Boruc blunder when he rushed out of goal when he had no way of getting the ball. Fletcher made an arse of his finish (good player - I thought that we could maybe have pinched him using Riordan as the catchweight). It was similar to the St. Mirren one against Dargo when he misjudged the pace of the ball and flattened the striker. He should have gone for that one and we would have probably lost. That he didn’t walk was only down to the ref bottling it. That’s not to mention the catastrophe against Rangers and the equaliser against Man U.

Not really anyone’s business, but the fact that he’s just split from his wife months after she gave birth to his son isn’t really the best way to keep your head in the game. He was pictured a few weeks ago smoking, drinking and sooking the face of a Polski Idol competitor (Yes Polski Idol. You couldnay make that up). He really is all over the place at the minute and maybe a couple of games cooling his heels on the subs bench would clear his head.