Nightmare of the Roly Poly Goalie

The game itself was pretty even and when Rangers scored the first it was when Celtic looked in control. The 4-1 scoreline (Naka’s freekick at the death was an afterthought) flattered Rangers and Celtic lost through some pretty basic errors, with Wilson and Boruc most at fault. Boruc had virtually hee-haw to do the full game but when he was involved it was a calamity. Since his great showing at the European Championship he’s regularly referred to as one of the top keepers in the world. Sorry, world class keepers don’t get beaten at their near post like that. It was a good finish but it should never have found the net. If that was bad then the 4th goal was laughable. No excuses just pish. Wilson was far too easily beaten by Cousin at the 1st and for Miller’s volley he was ball watching.

Going through the whole team, no-one for Celtic stood out. Possibly the showing by Samaras and Maloney against Falkirk gave a false slant on that partnership as they were given a lot of room in that game. They were both anonymous and Samaras was lucky to be handed a goal which made him look like he’d actually contributed. Having said that his replacement shouldn’t have bothered warming up. Cousin is sent off, rightly so I think; he must have committed a dozen fouls, was spoken to twice, eventually booked and commits 3 more fouls after that, goes in with his elbow again, had to go. So he’s off, you’re 3-1 down after an immaculate strike from the impressive Mendes and your experienced Dutch international decides to kick out and get himself red-carded. Games a boagie. Cheers Jan ya diddy.

We actually made some pretty poor players look as they knew what they were doing. How Kirk Broadfoot can contribute in an attacking sense is beyond me. He should have spent the match on the back foot fending off McGeady. Instead he’s hitting the byline and laughing in McGeady’s face after being brought down following a neat flick over his head. Whit’s that about? Fat Charlie Adam megging for fun and running riot. Miller was having a mince game and to gift him 2 goals as we did was torture.

Player for player we had the better side but no-one turned up. Brown, yet again was a total non event and I’d have much rather had Robson in there. The midfield pairing of Hartley and Robson was the main reason we won the title, so why persist with an out of sorts Brown when you’ve better options available? I’m not convinced that Brown is a happy bunny at Celtic and there’s a niggle that he’d much rather be in a blue jersey. When he plays for Scotland he’s a stand out - stranger than Kirk Broadfoot’s haircut. Rangers on the other hand passed the ball very well and were never put under any real pressure, surprising considering the midfield have only had a couple of games, where the Celtic midfield have been together for a long time. The current Rangers squad remind me of England; players played out of position all over the park to accomodate them, with everyone wanting to play in the centre. It’s hard to criticise the formation though, as we had tremendous natural width and didn’t make it tell the whole game.

Defensively we were God awful. Smith puts Cousin in every time and every time he bullies the life out of McManus and Caldwell. McManus in particular had a bad day and should get his legs slapped for a truly stupid booking in the first 10 minutes. Wilson had howler and did very little going forward. There was nerves through the whole back four and amazingly the best performer was Hinkel.

The last 20 minutes was painful to watch and enduring the olés from the boys in blue was tough. I think a word for the follow, follow brigade is warranted. I was embarrassed listening to the bile that spewed from that end of the ground. We were told before hand of the global millions who watch this game. Fair enough there was lots of taunting from Celtic supporters over their European misadventures, the usual beach balls. Some imaginative banners. The Bullseye, here’s what you could have won with the SPL trophy next to it. Particularly liked the, O My God they’ve signed Kenny, South Park banner (they should keep that one as it will be needed later. Not every team will gift him goals as we did, he’s still a rotten finisher, which is quite important for a striker). You’ve got to hand it to them, they replied in style. The more over the top party tunes have become taboo so they’ve hired in Andrew Lloyd Webber to freshen up their jukebox. The references to Jock Stein are disgusting, which was the favourite on the playlist. But the winner was “There’s only one Gary Glitter...” what follows is wild, I’m sure you’ve had the text. The global audience would have really been enjoying that clever wee ditty. I’m sure if the game was shown in Bangkok where Glitter committed his vile crimes, they would have seen the funny side. Not ideal subject matter for cheering on your team. Setanta has really expanded it’s audience down south and to have this sort of idiotic, mindless vomit spewed out on national TV is shaming the whole of Scotland. You’d have thought they’d done enough with their UEFA Cup Final exploits.

To end on a positive note, you have to hold your hands up and admit Pedro Mendes’ strike was a thing of beauty (though Naka’s last season was better and given all the grief slung in the direction of the officials, Dougie MacDonald had a really good game and called most things spot on. Although he should have sent off Nacho Novo. Not for anything he did, just because he’s a wee jobbie.